E-portfolio: Describe It - Camp Experiences

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework

Effective peer checking and feedback

Hearts were pounding in our chests. Body's were shaking anxiously. Clip clop clip slips into the harness. I could feel the slippery green grass under my sore feet. The rope pulls, stomach's drop. Flying like a bird in the air while the wind was blowing in faces. With the ground getting closer stomachs turn back. Ground shocks spiral through bodies. The relief releases and expands all around the floor. Seeing your smiling group not knowing what they're in for.


Grip slipping down the rusty rope. Lying on the hard uncomfortable ground. Eyes just want to shut.With the yelling in the distance heads start to ache.The panic of another go, over loads. Lying on the hard Rocky Terrain backs start to ache. Shooting up into the sky it's unbearable to think. Will I die?


Big green plants twirling and weaving their way around sticks in sight. The sun blaring into eyes blinding in seconds. Released slowly, down with gravity.

Student Reflection: In my writing, one of my goals is: Use different types of sentence's- Simple, compound and some complex. I did/did not show this goal here because:I did not complete this goal in this piece of writing because I did not use any complex sentences which is something I need to work on. My next step is to write complex sentences in every piece of writing I do. In my writing, one of my goals is: Support main ideas with details that fit. I did/did not show this goal here because:I did show this goal in my writing because I was supposed to be writing about the flying kiwi and I used ideas and words that fit with the topic such as. Flying like a bird in the air, Hearts pounding out chests. My next step is to not go off topic when writing which I am alright at already. Teacher Comment: Holly, I like the way that you have focussed on your goals in this piece of writing. You have created effective sentences that support your main idea and painted a clear picture. Your next step is to link your sentences and ideas together. Miss Hurley.